Dreaming

Tired of Dreaming

Want my imagination's plans to be realized

Tired of Dreaming

figments of my mind need to be tangible

I want to touch them

I want to feel them

I want to live them

Tired of Dreaming

Cause it all feels so far away

been dreaming to long

when will i wake up and really live

Old fashioned

I was able to go to my friend's Easter dinner with her family. I was graced to be able to meet her great-grandmother. She was the cutest old lady! Still up and running, talking, smiling, very active. I loved it. I aspire to be like that at the age. We were sitting by the piano looking at old pictures and there was one with her and her husband. As we were looking she tenderly grabs the picture and explained that this was her and her late husband in their younger years. I looked at her gazing at the picture and all I could see was love. I was Wowed!. She further explained more about him and then told me she was a romanticist. She then started talking about how much she loved him. She said she worshipped the ground that man walked on. I thought it was soo beautiful. I wanted to write something about it, and I will Im just not going to post it yet. I felt the love bubbling over though. It was crazy, like how is something so enduring, even after your partner passes away, that another individual can feel it.

It is rare to see that with us younger folk. Some how back then people understood (not all people of course) the WE concept. We are so individualistic and selfish nowadays that we don't always consider the greater priority, the US, that we have decided to commit ourselves to. We are so focused on how I am feeling and how the other person is making OurSelf feel that we cant get further or deeper, for the greater good. Sacrifice is a foreign concept, and both parties must adhere to it. Sacrifice doesn't mean changing who you are, it just says I making adjustments to my individual ways so that we can be, and so you can be in my life. For some reason, older folks are used to making adjustments.

Id rather be old fashioned. They lasted longer.

and now ladies and gentleman, Cee Lo Green, with Old Fashioned...

My loves' old fashioned
But it still works
Just the way it is.

This love is classic
And not just simply because
I say it is.
It's right on time (right on time)
And it's timeless (timeless)
And it'll be right here, for always.

My loves' old fashioned
So be it, I'm set in my ways.
Hush child, just listen
Don't it sound just like the good old days.

Well it's right on time (right on time)
And it's timeless (timeless)
And it'll be right here, for always (always).
My love's right one time (right on time)
And it's timeless (timeless)
I'll be right here for always.

Oooo... people they gather round, and they wonder how
Are we in love right here and now.
I just smile cause true love doesn't go out of style.
Ooh... right on time, Ooh, yes,
Ooh... on time, ooh timeless
I'll be here, for always.

Toodles Bspot...

Daily

Wake up in the morning still taste you on my lips

smile, wait a while

just savoring your kiss

close my eyes again so my senses can distinctly detect each flavor

open the eyes again smile again

send up silent prayers thanking your maker

turn over

look over

chuckle at your disposition

your coverings everywhere

looking disheveled

reminiscing about what got you there

we took it to so many levels

rest my head on your chest

squeeze you, your mines and Im yours

trail my fingers, up then down

memorizing your every contour

hold you like I am never letting go

daydreaming about the future that may unfold

fall back into slumber as the rise and fall of your chest takes me away

Drifting, but comforted knowing, I can wake up to this everyday

Winter's comfort

This is kind of part two of Remembering Winter. People often revisit the past hoping for different outcomes. I decided to revisit my old writings and write a part two. Enjoy.

Erratic as the weather

Summer when it should be winter

Why did I not stay in winter

Frozen where nothing could penetrate

Instead I toyed with spring, romanced summer

and the fall swiftly introduced pain and ache

did you not learn the Arctic was home

better off cold and alone

Glimmer of hope came from spring sun's light

only to later discover light was reflecting not coming from thee

blinding me, and now I see

my source of hope was misdirected yet again

Is there no compass, no astrology, no nothing for direction

the weather changes and takes me as it pleases

seek solace in cold winters dark, where I don't want to be, but must

for other season's fanfare I cannot trust

How did allow our spring to come again

Perhaps it was the promise of growth and of new

anticipation of summers long days with you

who knew, fall would come so soon

the decent was quick

thought a couple seasons would last before the good weather quit

false sense of security

but then again who controls the seasons

not you, not me

so winter comes regardless

back to my frozen mold...

Remembering winter by ME circa 2006

Here is my teardrop
A frozen memory in our inevitable winter
It melts,
melts when it remembers our spring
I remember its progression
first sporadically driziling, cascading faintly on my cheek
escalating as calendar pages flip
to rainstorms
a season of rainfall at its peak
I tried to find cover
but there was none
I was soaked and blinded in the storm
I could not see that the end that was before me

Close ones passed tissues
warning to dry my eyes and see the light
but there stood Eye, jackass in the rain
a fool, letting teardrops pound on my sight

Changes in the weather
stood to long and got cold
I remember the change to snow
Glad I finally let you go

Spring time comes again
For me at least....

Hahaha throwback pics from 2006

Never not love you

Never could I ever

Make you disappear

My heart, your name is tattooed there

Time doesn’t erase

My mind, envisions you clear

Never could I ever

Act like you don’t exist

Even when you are gone

And I try to forget you are always missed

Never could I ever

Act like we never happened

The smiles

The sighs

The dark nights where all we see is gazing eyes,

Hear hearts beats, and just beats

From Touching chests and thighs

Intertwined

Never could I ever

Really go away

An invisible rope does bind

Is this a soul tie?

Is this fate?

Are you my soul mate?

Never could I ever

Stop this feeling

Only briefly Paused,

Perhaps, held in abeyance

Like waiting to catch your breath

After you gasp

Never could I ever

See life with out you

Lost without you

Never could I ever

Not love you.

Love or insanity

I was talking to a friend and that made me think. I feel like everybody just waiting to get fucked over. Females esp. We have all seen friends, mothers, cousins, aunts, grandmas and whoever get messed over, tricked or some other foul happening. I think we expect it. It's really messed up that this expectation, in an underlying way, creeps into our thinking. It effects how we interact with our significant others. We always feel like we have to make up a back up plan. I feel like we arm our selves up for war even when there is no battle in sight. We are taught to be skeptical of people. Of men, particularly. We have to be sometimes, because this world is crazy. Where is the limit though? I often wonder if women are doing a self-fufilling prophecy, pushing our men away by not believing that they will do right. Additionally, I feel like we also try play the real laid back role, where we try not to care so much and that still ends up being a mess. Where is the happy MEDIUM!! Whats that song...Everybody plays the fool...sometimes... no exception to the rule. I think thats how it goes, and its true we all have to play the fool role in relationship sometimes. Hopefully not too many times.

My grandmother, or some older person told me that love is the best times and the worst of times. I just pray that in my love situation (s) or what have you, the best of times outweigh the worst of times.

Untitled

I wish I could get out of my emotions

And into my head

Can’t even think straight

All I know is my heart rate ain’t been right

Its on overdrive and it took over the fight

But for some reason it doesn’t have any sense

Offense Then Defense

Then reverse

The decisions its making

The moves its taking

Is it even debating, or acting only on impulse

Its not logical at all

To be honest the heart doesn’t think

Nor is it specific or actions distinct

If only the object of its affection

Knew his power of pleasure and affliction

Perhaps My Heart does know the power he wields

And is purposeful

And the heart allows what the head would shield.

OH Heart!
OH heart

Stop beating, because you know not what you do

Make me into genius and into fool

But I guess love and life are integrated

And with out My Heart I die

Apocalypse

If it were the end of the world

what would I do

i run home to the arms of you

thats the place i want to stay

the only somewhere my heart seeks to be

the only location thats right for me

to spend those last moments of breath

you in view

the wrongs of the past would die with me and you

Our.

Love.

Lasts.

Forever.

it is transcendent.

HIPPIe ME

swaying in the wind

I am happy

I am peace

I am full of contentment

No responsibility except to enjoy all that is good

Movement or not

I am the epitome of joy

No raining on my parade

as i let the sun of good life run its warm fingers all over me

laying in the grass admiring the sky

if only i could get so high

spinning fancy

skipping and dancing

I am smiling

I am light

what is misery

never came for tea

we dont socialize

floating

my freedom is immeasurable

no worries

no cares

rolling

enveloped in lifes sweet caress

relax

reeeelaaaax

release

just Be

I Am hippie me...