What a failure at life, so not winning.
I dont really have much to write about and then alot to right about the same time. I guess the words just wont come out. I hate this feeling. It is worst than a writers block. At least with a writers block there is nothing. No direction and no inspiration. The words dont exist. How I am feeling right now, I am sure there are words to capture its essence. I am thinking so many thing write now, but they wont come out! Shit! Yea, I used an expletive so what. The other words in my native tongue of English will not reveal themselves so I will resolve to use more debased forms of expression. SHIT! I should right something about this. No I wont because that will be more tangental and drive me further into the muddle that I am only, as of yet, on the fringes off. I stand teetering on the edge, dont know if I will fall in and drawn or just end up in perpetual fighting of it. I dont know what to do. I am in limbo. In purgatory. Save me. Guide me. Show me. (Mikaela's Plea)
I wish it was a simple as someone telling me what to do and then me fulfill the order. I wish I could snap my finger and everything fall into place. I wish this came with a guidebook or a map with hints. I am wandering blindly and bumping into everything. Why didnt I have a preview. Perhaps I did have one and was caught up in the imaginative recesses of my mind where only splendid things occur and i missed it. By Jove, I missed it.
Night. Sleep tight
B spot got me right.
MMM
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