Good Morning world!!

Sleep makes all things new. At least it feels like it. I feel revitalized. I can jump up and do anything. I can run a race right now. A race right to the breakfast table. I am famished!! What is it about sleep that makes me so hungry. Tomorrow I am gonna make a breakfast to be envied by many. Hopefully I make it to the grocery store. I'm so bleh without my car. I cant wait till he comes back to me. Or I go back to him rather. It will be nice.

It is the Christmas season again. The season of giving. I am going to find some community service over christmas break. I've gotta occupy my time forreal!! Enough ranting about nothing. im gonna go do some productive things, what they are I know not yet. But i will do something. Leggo!!

Toodles Bspot!

the hole u left.

My sleeping patterns are all jacked up. Am I waiting for your call? Naaah, that cant be it. (denial perhaps?) Anyway like I was saying, I cant sleep for nothing. I am wired. My thoughts are running rampant. I wonder if I am the only one suffering from this affliction. Am I alone? Its crazy how you think everything is going right and one single thing can change the course of everything. EVERYTHING! I think those are the things that matter the most. The one little thing. The one little comment. The one little mistake. The one little slip up. The one little oops. Turns everything upside down, turned around, and sideways. I have had so much anguish over this one person, this one situation, this one disappointment. No one person outside of my family has made me cry so much or show so much emotion, like I am really feelings this. I have a deep sunken feeling, a constricting knot in my throat, my heart area hurts, my arms are weak feeling. Emotional feelings are manifesting themselves physically. I feel sluggish. My eyes are sad. I wont be defeated by these sensations though. I am much stronger than that, but for someone to put me even in this state is not only miraculous and has me in a state of disbelief, but it just make me have to wonder. Wow, how in my feelings am I. Kryptonite. and this time in a bad way. I dont know what the outcome will be. I guess only fate and time will tell. I hope this spot is completed one day, dont wont it to be empty for too long.

Writing always makes me feel waaaay better. I promise I'll have some happy posts. Night, I mean goodmorning Bspot.

Ms. ME

Its been too long

Hey Bspot,

I feel like I have grown sooooo much since I last posted on this thing. Life. Its been great. Its been a whirlwind. So many people have come and gone. So many changes have happened. Im no longer in psychology after all. Im pursuing my dreams. Yes, I've dreamed these things for so long. They have been a part of my life since childhood. Im so glad to see my flowers blossoming. Fashion and business. So ME!

Moving along to very recent events.

Love is for the birds

Im in no way Anti

Im just feeling some kind of way right now because of my current circumstance.

I wrote somethings. Not all based on me, well one is how I was feeling (guess guess guess) at a moment. The other is based on things from other people and their experiences. Somewhat it is coupled with my own as well, but they don't have to do with whats going on now. Im telling you this has been a very full past year. I will update you with those developments at some point in life. Perhaps. Maybe not. Its up to my discretion anyway.

Fleeting Fun

We play the game

We make the right moves

I move

U move

Lets keep it real smooth

We know all the right ways to tango

Handling it from all different angles

Great Timing

Knew just went to climax

Almost as if

we had planned that

Say the right things

Sweetly so Sweetly

Yes baby I need thee

You are the only one for me

Words from moving lips

We know just the right way to respond to this

As if we were acting from a script

It goes off without a glitch

Real life happens

Snatches down the façade

And what’s left

Of our methodical amusements

Anger and confusion

It was written

It SEEMED so divine

It worked so well with out thought, with out mind

It FELT so right

It should have worked despite

Despite the fact that we put nothing in

Despite the notion we just indulged in what was as good as sin

Despite that the surface was not even touched

We were still floating in the dust

To know each other for real would reveal much too much

Rather we just play the game

Fun while it lasted

HELL

Aching

Breaking

Gaping hole

Feeling cold

Sinking feeling

Mind is reeling

Burning tears roll

Pain within the soul

Wandering

lost

Wondering

the costs

still

Wanting

You

Deaf to the cries

Blind with the eyes

Reaching but never touching

Is this hell?

Empty and incomplete

Desolate

Replete with Defeat

Enduring the yearning

Not satisfied

Is this Hell?

Dead

No feeling

Numb